The Christian Wife
by Phyllis Mercer
Habits are hard to change. Your attitudes and habits were probably acquired over the years. Many would be learned unconsciously from your mother. Some wives get quite alarmed when this is suggested, but after thoughtful contemplation and suggestions from their husbands they come to realise that in some measure this is true. My parents had many excellent qualities, and I loved them both very much, but they were not happily married. It took me a long while to realise that I was repeating some of the mistakes my mother had made. She had repeated some of the mistakes her mother had made, for they too had not been happily married. Our Lord Jesus came to save His people from their sins, and this includes our bad habits and attitudes. Read 1 John 1:8-9: "If we claim to be without sin, we decieve ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Self-interest is the enemy of Christian service. It is very easy to indulge in self-pity and to convince ourselves that our husband is not loving us as he ought. I have fallen into this trap. Beware of such ungodly attitudes. Beware of running home to Mum with your side of an argument and looking for her advice. She, if she is normal, will naturally favour her child. Jesus told us, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." Our sinful heart is always soft on ourselves and hard on those who offend us. Leave such situations to God who judges justly. Pray that you and your husband will have a closer walk with the Lord and manifest the fruit of the Spirit so that you may honour the Lord. Forgive, as the Lord has forgiven you. The unforgiving spirit may allow a bitter root to develop, and this dishonours the Lord and may spread to others. Pray daily, "Forgive us our sins, for we forgive everyone who sins against us." Be sure you do forgive and then also forget. God has forgotten our sins which He has forgiven for Jesus' sake.
Accept the truth that it is more blessed to give than to receive. During times when your husband is under pressure at work, it may be necessary for you to bear a heavier load in the responsibilities of the home. Do this willingly to the glory of God. Remember the promise, "As your days, so shall your strength be."
Finally, always hide God's Word in your heart, so that you will not sin against the Lord. Our Lord and Master has given us His requirements. "Haven't you read, that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female', and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Matthew 19:4-6)
Copyright © Family Matters 1998